Holy Cow! I forgot to get a social life!


A friend moved to a new city recently, and we discussed the importance of getting a social life – in the real life, physical world sense.  And it suddenly occurred to me that I think I’ve lost mine and I’m not exactly sure how to get it back again.

Like many, I work remotely with interaction consisting of e-mails, phone and conference calls.  I do have nice short chats on Facebook or blogs, but these are fleeting and limited.  My extended family is a diaspora scattered across the country, and my children presently live on three continents.  Work takes up most of my waking hours and the time that’s left is spent with family.  As the nest slowly empties I think it might be worthwhile to rediscover the art and pleasure of friendship.

As I often do with life’s great puzzles, I turned to Google for help and searched for “how to get a social life.”

One article gave a rundown beginning with “1.  Find some potential friends” and suggested that I start with work or school.  Strike one.

Another started with the real basics:  “Stand up straight, smile an authentic smile, avoid looking cold and unapproachable, and take care of your hygiene.”  Now we’re getting somewhere!  I can do this!  But I have a feeling that if I do all of the above at my local mall, shoppers will nervously avoid me like the kiosk vendors selling styling products.

eHow.com was more helpful, and right up my alley.  I appreciate a practical approach.  “1.  Work out in a gym.  2.  Participate in a class.  3.  Join a new church.  4.  Be social with co-workers.  5.  Go to the library.”  Actually, I question #5.  Libraries tend to be very quiet and solitary places, and the last time someone approached me in the stacks….  Oh, that’s another story and we won’t get into the details on this post.

One article had a simple suggestion that actually seemed like a pretty good place to start.  “Believe you’re worthy.”

So it sounds fairly simple to me.  Adjust the attitude, believe you’re worthy, get out and do something interesting and just start interacting with others.

What are your best tips for getting a social life?

(*and no, that’s not me and my besties in the photo above.)


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jane Fritz
    Jan 10, 2013 @ 20:10:07

    What a great post. As someone who was a workaholic the last many years of my work life and a relatively recent retiree, I’ve found it a challenge to re-engage socially the way I had thought I might. I also think the world has changed; even retired people seem awfully busy! If you find a secret formula, let me know! 🙂


  2. Terri at Time To Be Inspired
    Jan 10, 2013 @ 23:10:28

    Good luck with your search. My son suggested that in 2013 I should get rid of all my real friends and just go with the internet ones. He is such a kidder. Personally I like the suggestion that started with “Stand up straight.” What a hoot!


  3. The Edmonton Tourist
    Jan 10, 2013 @ 23:23:19

    I joined a book club, so far so good. 🙂


  4. cythereandreams
    Jan 11, 2013 @ 00:31:34

    Here’s what I’m doing as a single mom who needs to be home 6 nights a week, with three jobs (two are online teaching) – I’m taking a class during the week and have joined an exercise group. That gives me two weekly things. I also do many activities with my synagogue and go to their events – part of the reason I joined that one is because I like those people, so it’s fun to see them and they have become good friends (some better than others, of course :)).


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